Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Short Cut

I cut my hair the other day.

I'd been thinking about doing it for several weeks now. I enjoyed it long, but thought it was just time to go back to the clean cut me. Especially wandering around the Space Symposium with all of its uptight military, NASA and space contractor types, I have to admit there was a certain degree of peer pressure to fit in.

One of these things certainly didn't look like the others.

And so I got it cut. A good 5 or 6 inches. Far shorter than I had asked for or wanted, but clean-cut nonetheless.

And boy did people notice.

“Thank God!” friends exclaimed loudly and publicly, “I hated that long hair. You look so much better this way.”

In fact, so overwhelming was the relief and praise that I'd cut it that I began to wonder why no one hadn't just pinned me down months ago and attacked me with pruning sheers. While a large part of me missed the long curls (my wife's reaction was singularly unfavorable to the change) and certainly thought the barber had gone too far, I felt good about the decision.

Then came Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, he of recent blogs.

“Didn't you have long hair when we were talking just this morning?”

“Yeah, I just got it cut over lunch.”

“Oh. (Long pause) It's a shame. I liked your long hair. Especially at a gathering like this. It showed individuality. It showed that you didn't care what others thought about you. It showed that you were true to yourself despite others' opinions of you. (Another long pause) Too bad.”

Damn it.


Anonymous Nate said...

So then you should have replied, "But Neal, as I'm sure you are aware, being the 'Big Picture' kinda guy that you are, the universe will implode on itself in a reverse Big Bang, or "Big Crunch" as the favored term goes, in some 4 billion years from now, rendering all of its existence, all of reality, all of THIS meaningless, (here Brandon you wave your arms about, indicating the symposium), not to mention all of human history, which was just a speck in the wide vast to begin with. So really, Neal, you want to guilt me about a few inches of hair?"

Then make fun of his mustache.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Brandon Fibbs said...

I don't make fun of the man's mustache.

He's a helluva lot bigger than me. A helluva lot smarter than me. And believe it or not, has been known to frequent this very website (somehow he found the blog I did on his publication, "The Perimeter of Ignorance" and read the incoming comments for several days--a fact of which I was not aware until just last week.)

So Neal, if you want this young upstart's address, you just let me know.

4:11 PM  
Anonymous Nate said...

And what prompted you to lose the soul patch? Did you lose your soul and thus it no longer needed its patch?

4:26 PM  
Blogger Brandon Fibbs said...

No, I sold it to the devil. For cheap.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Nate said...

Really? How odd. Our first president with a soul patch!

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Eric D. said...

Well at least you dont look like Shakespeares long lost gay brother any more. The toga picture will haunt my dreams for many years to come.

9:29 AM  
Blogger supermn said...

Great post! I not only enjoyed the brevity, but it was a nice quick pick-me-up to this Wednesday morning. I really don't understand how someone would tell you they hated your long hair after it's cut, but wouldn't before it was cut; it's really no different. Just say "Wow, Brandon, you certainly look great with short hair" and leave it at that.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous AA said...

I love your hair short. I liked it long too. You know me--I am a true California girl who loves the long hair beach boy surfer look. But who cares what we like, its what you like and what Stephanie likes. You are still a handsome man either way.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous CW said...

Hey Brandon:

The short cut looks great. Of course, I thought the long cut looked great too; Ah, Shakespeare.

I saw you walk into the Downtown Barber Shop last week on my way to a meeting at Fuller. I figured it was for a trim, but oh my!

Clever blog - irony is the reality of living.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Gilly said...

Add my wife to the list of "glad you got your haircut" people! She said you looked retarded with long hair. I say welcome back to the short/losing hair club. Glad you renewed your membership buddy!

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Mom! said...

I LOVE THE "NEW" CUT!! If I thought I could have gotten away with it, I'd have done a Samson and Delilah on you. :-) You question why more people didn't say they didn't like it long...sometimes no comment is the most mannerly statement.

I believe there are many different ways one can express individuality and uniqueness, and you seem to have no problem accomplishing that. If Dr. Tyson couldn't see the other ways and liked the look and statement of your hair long, tell him maybe he should grow his own out.

But...however you wear your hair, I'd love you just the same!!!!! :-)


8:35 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

Well, although the former look was "different", I must say that I prefer the "clean cut Brandon" better also.

But from one in "the industry" I would most certianly let your stylist know that you better half was not thrilled at the fact that too much was cut off.

Love ya "Senator"

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Bert said...

I like the new look. It wasn't bad long, but I have to say I like it short, if my opinion matters

11:08 AM  
Anonymous POD said...

Your comments do mean something, Bert! How are you and Shawn doing? BTW, tell him to stop playing too damned much with his knives!

Oh yeah, back to the subject matter at hand... Brandon, if you truly want to be a vanguard on the matter of personal appearance, you should shave your head... better yet... shave it into a mohawk for a few days and then shave it bald. Bono did the same thing between the PopMart Mexico and Vancouver shows back in late '97.

Just think of how the meeting would go now... "didn't you have your hair longer, uh I mean, shorter, uh, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT MOHAWK!" Not to mention what your mother would think...

What a glorious statement that would be. Can't wait to get out of the Nav to do this sort of thing...

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Nate said...


8:38 AM  
Blogger gabster said...

Your in good company bro! I too cut my hair very recently, and about the same amount of length...before and after! I however counldn't STAND my curls anymore and wanted to sheer them off amid friends' begs to leave it long!

I second the welcome to the club! Love ya


12:13 AM  

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